"The shower is NOT a good place to attempt the splits."

So this one is true and I did actually say it last night.

For me to "attempt the splits" in the shower while standing cross-ways is probably NOT very dangerous. My feet can only go about shoulder width apart before I hit the sides of the tub - which is close to the limit of my flexibility anyway.

However, for a 4-year-old who is (A) just over half my height, (B) in his birthday suit, (C) standing lengthwise, (D) in a slippery tub and (E) has two very curious little sisters who may barge in at any time, I can think of about 83 unpleasant and plausable outcomes to this endeavour.

Therefore, I found myself in need of telling him, "<insert quote above>". As a father I pray that I will always have the wisdom to recognize the teachable moments.